No fair, God!

"Have you seen my Beloved?" (Song of Solomon 3:3)

"If you find my Beloved tell Him that I am sick with love." (Song of Solomon 5:8)

"When we search for anything with too much eagerness, we pass it by a hundred times without perceiving it." (St. Francis de Sales)

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But I still haven't found what I'm looking for. (Bono)

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Why does God seem to leave us sometimes? Why the apparently unnecessary trials in life?  "God's ways are unfair" we say! When I complain to God and say, in effect, "This isn't fair!" He often brings to mind the scripture passage which reads, "Are my ways unfair or are not your ways unfair?"  (Ezekiel 18:25) He is the fair One... I am unfair - made so by sin.  

I complain without right.  I suffer but I have never gotten what I truly deserved.  Fulton Sheen said something to that effect.  Even our sufferings are limited by the tender mercy of God.

Yet, even though I am unfair to God in my sinfulness I long to hear Him say,

"Thou art all fair, O my love, and there is not a spot in thee."  (Song of Solomon 4:7, Douay Rheims)

When we love someone we want to be perfect for them. Knowing that we are, however, imperfect (though redeemed) and sinful (though being sanctified) we can often feel that the heaviest cross in our lives is our very self.  I am what is difficult about life! I make things much harder than they have to be. Ever been sick of your own company? Thank God that He never grows weary of spending time with us.

Oh, please don't leave me.

I see my unfairness, we all can see it in ourselves.  More often than not we've judged ourselves fairly harshly and we don't listen to God telling us what it is that He sees: You are all fair... You are my Beloved.

You see God doesn't expect absolute perfection.  What He desires (God has His desires, too) more than anything else is a soul open to receive the full weight of His love.  That's why Christ came; to open souls up to the Father.

In our lives there will be trials, yes, but many of them are "unfair trials" which we are, unfortunately, responsible for.  God is very fair (all fair, in fact.) His perfect justice takes into account our great imperfection and, in justice does not treat us the way we *think* we deserve.  His mercy is precisely what we need.   It would be unfair if God were not merciful to such blind and broken sons and daughters. We don't have to be perfect.  We just have to turn to God and let Him have a say in our situation.

To let God speak and then to listen.

"You are precious in my eyes, and honored, and I love you." (Isaiah 43:4)

Yes, Lord. 

Because we can search and search for what we think we need and plead and beg until we're exasperated, frustrated, and ready to give up but what we seek is always closer than we think - it's God.  We don't have to search so furiously anymore and try to improve ourselves to be loveable enough to Him.  No, we just need to stop and be loved.

So be fair to God.  Give Him what He wants for a change.  Let Him love you as you are right here.

It's only fair.

-MM