Why is deeper and deeper conviction of sin/repentance/purification necessary for us? Here's my two cents.
In the psalms we pray “search my heart oh God” (Psalm 139) and we of course want the Holy Spirit to convict us of sin--and that more and more deeply--so that we can allow His purifying fire to burn away everything that is unfit to be laid on the foundation of Christ in us. God is building His edifice in us so that we can grow into Christ come to full stature.
Full stature. Complete. Lacking in nothing. Sanctified. Divinized as the eastern Catholics/Orthodox would say.
All done.
I’m reminded of 1 Corinthians Chapter 3:11-15 which speaks of our works being tried by the fire of the Holy Spirit’s conviction and truth. Our sinful works like straw and wood will be burned up but our works of charity and mercy will be revealed for what they are, the works of Christ which will be like gold refined by fire laying up treasure for us in eternal life.
"For no one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ. If anyone builds on this foundation using gold, silver, costly stones, wood, hay or straw, their work will be shown for what it is, because the Day will bring it to light. It will be revealed with fire, and the fire will test the quality of each person’s work. If what has been built survives, the builder will receive a reward. If it is burned up, the builder will suffer loss but yet will be saved—even though only as one escaping through the flames." (1 Corinthians 3:11-15)
Or another translation has it in verse 15: “he will be saved but only as through fire.” Catholics and Eastern Orthodox see one sense of these verses as referring to the further purification of the soul needed after death if one hasn’t allowed the Spirit to fully purify one’s heart and burn away all the dross of our worldly and selfish works. This He prefers to do in this life; to help us completely let go of our various attachments and favorite sins. Certainly, “the Day” of the final judgment will bring this refiner’s fire. Also, our own personal, final "Day" (if we die before that Second Coming of Christ) will--if we die in God’s friendship--allow us the mercy of Christ’s redemption to become fully manifest in us
“...but only as through fire.”
We are to come grow into Christ come full stature (Ephesian 4).
That’s more or less what Catholics understand purgatory to be; the refiner’s Fire making us ready for the Heavenly Holy of Holies—since “nothing impure [i.e. not fully purified by the fire of the Holy Spirit] shall enter Heaven” Revelation 21:27. If we follow the commandments then we will reach Heaven (step 1 being "believe in the Lord Jesus Christ as you shall be saved [saved from eternal hell fire and saved by the refiner's fire of the Holy Spirit who sanctifies anyone who draws near to God.] However, if have not yet let God fully sanctify us by the time we die; if we have not yet let God fully have His way then His goodness will burn away all the remnants of our selfishness so that we can completely (i.e. with a "whole heart") say, “let it be done to me according to your word" (Luke 1:38).
We will certainly need to allow Him to fully purify our souls one way or another. Hopefully we let His Love fully conquer us before we die but His mercy will need to purify the faithful-but-still-somewhat-worldly-and-sinful soul after that soul departs the body to be with the Lord in all His fiery love!
A large part of being saved from our sin is just allowing the Holy Spirit to convict us of all the ways in which we are rooted in ourselves rather than Christ; all the ways in which we are selfish rather than selflessly loving towards our Father and each other. We don't know what we won't know so we have to let God show what He needs to show. Deeper conviction of and repentant sorrow for our sins is a grace to be prayed for fervently, daily. We need to know what we have done and what we have failed to do so that we can let Christ fully live in us with nothing held back from Him or from each other.
"If someone who has worldly means sees a brother in need and refuses him compassion, how can the love of God remain in him? Children, let us love not in word or speech but in deed and truth. [Now] this is how we shall know that we belong to the truth and reassure our hearts before him in whatever our hearts condemn, for God is greater than our hearts and knows everything Beloved, if [our] hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence in God and receive from him whatever we ask, because we keep his commandments and do what pleases him. And his commandment is this: we should believe in the name of his Son, Jesus Christ, and love one another just as he commanded us. Those who keep his commandments remain in him, and he in them, and the way we know that he remains in us is from the Spirit that he gave us." (1 John 3:17-24)
I remember reading in 33 Days to Merciful Love by Fr. Michael Gaitley that it’s OK to ask God to be gentle with us :) If deeper purification scares you then do not fret. Ask Him to be gentle with you. I like that. I think God prefers to be gentle with us when convicting us of sin--when we allow Him to be gentle--but if He has to shake us up to make sure we stop hurting ourselves and others spiritually (like a mother who slaps the hand of her child reach for a hot stove) then by golly He’ll do it. Though we should humble ourselves and ask for His gentle mercy to descend on us first.
It's easier to do things His way.
I think deeper repentance is a gift we should continually ask for since it’s impossible for us to know our sins apart from God’s light touching upon it. The only way to properly see our sin is through God’s eyes and heart anyway; otherwise we just just fall into blindness or self-condemnation or scrupulosity or the accuser’s lies and ain’t nobody got time for that—because the Day draws near. We need our lamp alight.
Where is your lamp stand?
"Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift. "Settle matters quickly with your adversary who is taking you to court. Do it while you are still together on the way, or your adversary may hand you over to the judge, and the judge may hand you over
to the officer, and you may be thrown into prison.
Truly I tell you, you will not get out until you have paid the last penny."
(Matthew 5:23-25)
Unless you owe two cents.
to the officer, and you may be thrown into prison.
Truly I tell you, you will not get out until you have paid the last penny."
(Matthew 5:23-25)
Unless you owe two cents.
